Let’s be honest: No man has ever inflicted the kind of pain on me that my closest friends have the ability to. In this article you will find 11 reasons why the end of a friendship cuts deeper than that time the guy I was dating and I broke up at my Year 12 formal (true story).
1. We get told that friendships last forever – and it’s a goddamn liieee.
We almost expect heartbreak from romance. But from the time we’re small, “Friendship Forever” necklaces hanging from our necks, we’re made to believe friendships will last our whole lives. So when they don’t, it hurts.
2. Friendships allow us to be 1000% ourselves, which means when a friend ~dumps~ us – our self-esteem goes down the toilet.
All those midnight talks of ambitions, insecurities; the moments of fragility and complete vulnerability. If the person who knows you best in the world can leave you, what does that mean for the other people in your life?
3. They know all about you. If a friendship ends badly, who knows what hell they’ll unleash on your life.
Look, I know we’re not seeing eye-to-eye on anything at the moment, but can we at least be agreed that that thing, that happened that time, with you-know-who is still just between us?
4. We’re not allowed to curl up in a ball and cry over our loss.
At least not in the same way we’re given permission to mourn a romantic break up. Nobody blinks an eye if you become a ball of mucus over a partner, but a friend? Where are my flowers and ice cream now?
5. They take your social life with them. Your goddamn social life.
Relationship falls apart? At least you know his friends are his, yours are yours. But a friendship? Any shared friends are potential collateral damage, and suddenly your Friday night drinking circle gets a lot smaller.
6. The time it takes to go from stranger to BFFL is a-bloody-lot
Ever heard of a whirlwind romance? Love at first sight? Of course you have. Because it takes no time at all to fall in love – but a close friendship? You’ve got to invest a shit tonne of hours, those inside jokes aren’t going to write themselves.
7. It’s just. So hard to know where you stand.
So, I know we’re not talking, but what if we run into each other? Should I cross the street? Speak to you as if I don’t know your first love’s name/your favourite band/your most embarrassing secrets?
8. It feels like you are the first person in the history of this planet to go through this.
It takes approximately 0.65 seconds to find a movie, song or smoke signal that talks about the utter agony of a romantic break up. The breakdown of a friendship? Nothing. Nada.
9. The person you want to talk to about this is, well, them.
Break up with your man and you go to your friends. Break up with your friends? It’s just not the same, let’s be honest.
10. Good luck trying to cleanse your life of all evidence of them. Ain’t no way.
When I broke up with my high school boyfriend, I threw out the mixed CD he made me, deleted his number, never visited our favourite park again. Breaking up with my friend? Would require relocation and a brain extraction to get rid of their influence in my life.
11. And lastly, what if there’s never anyone else?
I mean, is there an app for this? Making new friends in adulthood is hard. It feels like everyone else has walked off the set of Friends, exclusive membership to the group by invite only.
Fortunately, like a break up, the breakdown of a friendship means there is now more room for the right people to find you.