What do you give to the person who has it all? How about trying to dismantle their empire from the inside by giving them a cursed doll? That’s right! People are actually trying to pawn off “possessed” dolls on the Internet for money. What’s even scarier is that people are buying them.
It probably goes without saying that these are being sold on eBay, which is basically the Devil’s antique shop. Here are some of the creepiest cursed dolls that you can call your own (or force upon someone else).
The Twin Lake Shelf Rebel – $69.13
The owners assure eBay users that “THIS IS NOT A JOKE.” Apparently, one vintage doll in a couple’s antique store keeps removing itself from the shelf. Since they posted on eBay, the doll has upped the creepy ante and started pushing other items off the shelf. They even say that she “kicked” a dent into a metal Coors sign.
Bad Santa – $17.00
The guy selling this thing wrote a very overwrought diatribe about when he first saw this Santa doll, and the doll levitated to ask him if he had any beer. Honestly, the dude’s prose is creepier than the doll itself.
Children’s Ward Doll (with psychic boy spirit included) – $50.00
The owner of this doll warns that it recquires “high spirit maintenance.” Supposedly, the doll was once a toy in a now-abandoned children’s ward in Pennsylvania. The owner of the doll claims that although it’s a girl, inside lies the spirit of a boy who was sexually abused at the ward. The boy communicates with its owners psychically and requires attention “all the time.”
Sorcha – $45.50
The owner of this doll claims that it holds the spirit of a former female writer named Sorcha, who wrote popular stories under her father’s name. Afraid that Sorcha would reveal herself and take all the fame away from him, her dad had her killed. Apparently, the doll revealed this to the owner by causing her to pass out over her tea. Maybe the oddest detail of all is that Sorcha switched her tea bags to uncaffeinated during the vision. Even possessed dolls fear caffeine addiction, it seems.
Alexandra – $47.99
This doll witnessed the horrible abuse of her first owner, a young girl who lived and died in a large family estate. The next little girl that owned her experienced an extreme attachment to the doll, speaking to it and throwing fits of rage when the doll wasn’t close.
Demonic Trickster Doll – $12.50
The owners of this doll don’t even want to know its backstory. All they know is that if the doll doesn’t like someone, it pulls their hair and scratches them. For a mere $12.50, you can be the one to explore the dark energy behind those eyes.
Joker Doll – $5.50
The owner unintentionally bought this doll at a 7-11 after she gave two women in need a dollar. They handed her the doll and she threw it in her car, which immediately broke down. A year later, basically nothing in her house worked and her pets refused to enter the room with the doll. That’s why she wants to get rid of it.
Doll of a Vengeful Lover – $116.66
A woman’s lover left her alone in her Georgian home, so she turned to dark magic to seek revenge. A witch showed her how to perform horrible curses on the man. The woman was consumed by her hatred and sadness, so the witch showed her how to imbue all that negative energy into this doll. For a not-at-all dubious $116.66, it can be yours!
Weirdly enough, most of these dolls have already been purchased. Despite the spooky descriptions warning people on how haunted these things are, people are still clamoring to buy them. I just don’t understand.